I started reading some of the quotes at bash.org after Joaquim sent me a link to one of them. Some funny stuff I thought I'd share here.
Quotestfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIMrofl omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!
QuotePurely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book Let's see the results... "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry. "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work." "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. " Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!" The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils. He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue. He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them. Ok I have found, definitive proof that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he? O_______O Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip. 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
Quote*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info!kjv numbers 22:21 Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...
Quoteheh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?" whatd u think they'd say? something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"
QuoteBAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hahahahaha some girl just came onto our floor and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper" i just asked her what the paper was about and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha
QuoteIm going to be the next hitler Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown why the clown See? no one cares about the jews lmao
QuoteCanada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters, and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause, after the exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels and 3 canadian mounties
QuoteYou know that big mall in Edmonton has three fully working submarines. the Canadain Navy has two.
<@Airs> lolSo if war ever broke out in that mall ... they'd never make it past the Gap.
QuoteWallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you
QuoteMetallica sold out in 45 mins :/ Yeah I know. Oh wait You mean, like, a concert? yes
Quotedo you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC? who? center for disease control i said WHO what? i'm asking you World Health Organization
Quote<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
QuoteRadio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows : So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? : We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. : Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? : I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. : Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? : I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. : But you're equipping them to become violent killers. : Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!
Quote*** Zeron is now known as you
* you farted.
* you sigh in frustration.
* you lose
* you suck at life
*** Wildfyre is now known as our
* Goblin_Leecher thinks you need a life
* our conversation is entirely too weird
*** Goblin_Leecher is now known as we
* we are going stir crazy
* you are going a little too far
* our laughter fills the offices nearby.
* you are fired.
* we need new jobs
* you agree
* you wonder when this madness will end
* we are not sane
* you are correct
* our sanity has left?you know...if a sane person were to walk in here...they'd be very very confused right about now...
* you are one with the matrix.
QuoteScud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you
Scud: And then it hit me
QuoteSo I was at work today, signing for a package from UPS.. When the FedEx guy walks in with a package of his own. And at that EXACT moment, a customer changes the channel to TBS and the Mortal Kombat movie is on, right when the fight theme music starts. Did they break out into a delivery duel to the death? I was prepared for parcel projectiles and fedex fatalities. They eyed each other, and I knew something was about to happen... But then the guy changed the channel to "Trading Spaces" and the fight was over.