Nerdy Quotes...

[Xepher]

I started reading some of the quotes at bash.org after Joaquim sent me a link to one of them. Some funny stuff I thought I'd share here.

stfu mat|t u cu.nt
* Acaila sets mode: +b MortalKombat!*@*
<@Acaila> FINISH HIM
rofl
omg wtf man
* MortalKombat was kicked by Acaila (forward, forward, back, back, forward, punch)
<@Acaila> FATALITY!

Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
Let's see the results...

"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

Ok
I have found, definitive proof
that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
!kjv numbers 22:21
 Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. -  (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that...

heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
whatd u think they'd say?
something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hahahahaha
some girl just came onto our floor
and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
i just asked her what the paper was about
and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha

Im going to be the next hitler
Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
why the clown
See? no one cares about the jews
lmao

Canada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters, and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause, after the exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels and 3 canadian mounties

You know that big mall in Edmonton has three fully working submarines.
the Canadain Navy has two.
<@Airs> lol
So if war ever broke out in that mall ... they'd never make it past the Gap.

WallJam7: roses are red
WallJam7: violets are blue
WallJam7: all of my base
WallJam7: are belong to you

Metallica sold out in 45 mins :/
Yeah I know.
Oh wait
You mean, like, a concert?
yes

do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
who?
center for disease control
i said WHO
what? i'm asking you
World Health Organization

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse

Radio interview quote from Marine Corps General Reinwald and a female radio host. He wants to host some boy scouts at the training center for some practise excercises. As follows
: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.
: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended. You gotta love the Marines!

*** Zeron is now known as you
* you farted.
* you sigh in frustration.
* you lose
* you suck at life
*** Wildfyre is now known as our
* Goblin_Leecher thinks you need a life
* our conversation is entirely too weird
*** Goblin_Leecher is now known as we
* we are going stir crazy
* you are going a little too far
* our laughter fills the offices nearby.
* you are fired.
* we need new jobs
* you agree
* you wonder when this madness will end
* we are not sane
* you are correct
* our sanity has left?
you know...if a sane person were to walk in here...they'd be very very confused right about now...
* you are one with the matrix.

Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you
Scud: And then it hit me

So I was at work today, signing for a package from UPS..
When the FedEx guy walks in with a package of his own.
And at that EXACT moment, a customer changes the channel to TBS and the Mortal Kombat movie is on, right when the fight theme music starts.
Did they break out into a delivery duel to the death?
I was prepared for parcel projectiles and fedex fatalities.
They eyed each other, and I knew something was about to happen...
But then the guy changed the channel to "Trading Spaces" and the fight was over.

[Lei]

(directed at Harry Potter quotes) So... Wrong.... mental... images... XD

[RoxorFuxor]

I've seen some of those on http://bash.org/ .  Great site, I sent in a conversation with my brother.  I forget it now and it probably didn't get through.

[SilentFyre]

I love bash so much. I've got one for an away message I could put up here. I'll find some of my favorites and post them here.

3:pixelsoft> GHB? Don't you go to school?
3:GHB> Today is Saturday
3:pixelsoft> It's Friday
GHB left arena

That Mortal Kombat one is one of my favorites though. Nice choices there Xepher.

Alright, here are a few more for you guys.

Who wrote an essay entitled 'Advice to a Young Man on choosing a Mistress'?
Cassanova
Here's your 1st hint, B___am__ ____k___
no idea
dr seus
hee
Al Gore
Here's your 2nd hint, _en_a_in _r_n__i_
Here's your 3rd hint, B_njami_ Fra__lin
Benjamin Frankin
Benjamn franklin
benjamin frankls
oop
s
haha
Time's up! The answer was: Benjamin Franklin
way to spell, team!

Theorem: All numbers are equal.
Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then
a + b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b
So all numbers are the same, and math is pointless.

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

Real life should have a fucking search function, or something.
I need my socks.

my friend use to put his cat in a pillowcase and throw it down the stairs when we were little. the cat's name was Oscar. i use to to call him Oscar the grouch, because he was grouchy a lot of the time.
Maybe he was grouchy because you fucking threw it down the stairs in a pillowcase, genius.

( @Kaygo ) Arguing with the ops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off.

asshole
* FireFox was kicked by Reaper (i dont like your mouth)
...
* bob sets mode: +b *!*@3AD5BC55.8E488FF8.273333E5.IP
...
wait no i didnt kick him!
that was a /me!
* Reaper was kicked by bob (your no longer welcome in this channel)
haha
oops

DE: "The truth is out there"
sunny: yeah, thank god it's out there and not in here with us

[piksi]

I laughed so hard I nearly flew of my chair while reading those Harry Potter quotes!

[gracey]

Just when I thought the mortal kombat ones were mint, I read the Harry Potter quotes and I almost fell over in my chair!
The sin on the battlefield - FUNNY!! I was giggling while my sister and brother give me weird looks.
That random girl and the lame excuse was the charge of the night!